DO NOT TRY to put yourself in someone's else's shoes

The more I think about it
The more impossible I think it ever is
To try putting yourself in someone's shoes.

Do you know what that phrase entails?

Take an everyday scenario for illustration.
Pete is really angry with himself for not being able to perform well in his studies. At the same time, he gets real stressed up over the huge amounts of unfinished work that is piling up on his desk.

Pete comes to you and tell you about his problems.

Please Please Please just give him either
1)a pat on the shoulder, a hug, a peck on the cheek, a kiss OR
2)a listening ear

There really isn't any help to the situation if you reply, " Yes, I understand. I have been there before."

When in actual fact, you couldn't have possibly been there before. Simply because you are not Pete.

1)Pete may be a born pessimist(like me). Are you one? Even if you are one, can you guarantee that you are as pessimistic as Pete to the same extent on the same aspects?

2)Pete may have some other problems that are hanging on him. Family disputes, relationship problems, a sick relative...and all these factors tend to accumulate and wear down his heart at that point of time.

3)Pete may also be in the ill of health due to many nights of lack of sleep. And groggy-brained, which implies he's going to take a longer period of time to finish his work than you do.

And I can go on to the 100th factor if I wanted to make you go mad.

So, I beseech everyone, who reads this entry, never ever to measure someone's else's response to problems to your own standards.

It just doesn't work this way.

On a personal note...

A friend of mine told me that I should write what I wanted to and not what I think my readers will want to read on this blog.
That touched my heart, it really did.

I do write whatever I think of.

But most of them ends up in the draft section.

And I just did a stock check---the entries categorised as "drafts" were a lot more than those which were published on this blog

Some are ramblings, others complaints, most things that I write when I get pissed off by this world, just like the Michelin baby post=X

It's not that I worry about how cynical you all will find me

There just isn't any point in adding another cynic into this world

Something I realised from keeping this blog---When I casually glanced through my blog
to reply the messages on the tagboard, none of the entries felt as if they were written by me, sincerely. I can't even remember how I churned out these entries. Maybe it's because I'm getting senile. Or perhaps it was a different me taking over the keyboard.

Whatever it is, hoped you all have enjoyed the entries so far. Thanks for putting up with me=> Kudos to the world

Look up to Michelin!!!

http://www.allbabypics.com/baby-picture-207.html

Riddle of the day:
Who becomes more beautiful and loveable the fatter they become?

The answer: BABIES!!!

Babies are so loveable even when they are fat, flabby, soft, and mushy!

Maybe because they were born fat!
Maybe because they look so soft and vulnerable we want to protect them
Maybe because they don't give a care in the world about their fats and they are so happy being fat
Maybe because they just love rolling and lolling about on their round tubbies
Maybe because they had the confidence that even being fat, they would be loved

Maybe we girls should start thinking like babies sometimes

We can be fat and beautiful too!

Who cares about a flat stomach when you sit down, if you end up getting stitch at the end of the day from sucking in your tummy and holding your breath for too long?

If you have to starve for a guy, maybe its time to ditch that guy before that he ditches you when someone younger and skinnier struts by.

Stand up girls, let's not add on to the inhumane tales of bound foot, corsetted waists and all sorts of ridiculous tortures we put ourselves through just to please some Shallow Hal.

Any form of exercises or reduction of meal sizes should only be done for OUR health benefits.

And if anyone tells you that sheding those weight will boost your "confidence", I'm telling you that's total rubbish.

That "confidence" is just a measure of how comfortable we are with our image in front of the other gender. It fluctuates with our "beauty", as judged by their eyes, not their hearts.

True confidence is exuded whether we having bad hair days, 100kg overweight or wizened with wrinkles in our 80s.

Note: If this is some Shallow Hal reading this entry, please go to the nearest wall, knock your head against the wall HARD 3 times. Should you find that you still are not thinking straight, go put on a corset, drink water when you are hungry and abstain from any carbohydrates(no sweets, grains, fruits, meat...no nothing).Before you sleep, first cleanse, then exfoliate, tone and moisturise your face. Then brush your teeth with whitening toothpaste, floss ,rinse with Listerine, take some breathmints. Proceed to the dressing table, comb your hair 100 times( no cheating or the Hair Fairy will take care of you), lay your hair nicely and perfectly on your bed before you sleep. Make use of your sleeping time with a face mask or some cucumbers and tomatoes if you are out of supplies.
Last step, rest your hands elegantly across your chest like Sleeping Beauty. And go ahead and fall in love with yourself.
( I skipped the cuticle care and makeup removal and...the list never seems to end)

Hear the music before the song is over

I came across this website called urban legends online
There is this page which I would like to share with you all
http://urbanlegendsonline.com/emails/poems.html

It features poems that were passed via mass emails
I loved all the poems there, and this one in particular,is written by a young girl with cancer, and little time left. This poem wad then passed on by a doctor.
I don't know how true it is, but let's enjoy the poem for all that it is.

"Slow Dance"

Have you ever watched kids On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down. Don't dance so fast.
Time is short. The music won't last.
Do you run through each day On the fly?
When you ask How are you? Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores Running through your head?
You'd better slow down. Don't dance so fast.
Time is short. The music won't last.
Ever told your child, We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste, Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch, Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time To call and say,"Hi"
You'd better slow down. Don't dance so fast.
Time is short. The music won't last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day, It is like an unopened gift.... Thrown away.
Life is not a race. Do take it slower
Hear the music Before the song is over.

Dr. Dennis Shields,
Professor Department of Developmental and Molecular Biology
1300 Morris Park Avenue
Bronx, New York10461

The Big Y

Sometimes relationships between guys and girls are like a big letter "Y"

Initially, everyone starts off as aquaintences

Then as they get to know each other better
and their friendships start to blossom
They reach the phase where they had to choose to take either of the two branches of the "Y"

Some would put off their confessions
And tell themselves, " It's OK, maybe it'll be easier when we become very close friends"
So they took path A
not knowing how far they are from path B
not realising that only path B sets off the wedding bells

Not discovering that this is a one-way path
With no room for wrong choices

Because if you fell in love after becoming best friends
Would that love be true?
Or is it just a habit, of having that someone there for you when you need him/her

Are you too used to him?
Or using him to make yourself feel you actually love someone?
Or just wanting to feel loved?

Save yourself some trouble
Cut him some slack
And show the love today
Or hold your piece

Things can never be the same again
Eggs that are boiled can never be unboiled
To give scrambled eggs.

I Sit and Think by JRR Tolkien

I sit beside the fire and think
of all that I have seen,
of meadow-flowers and butterflies
in summers that have been;

Of yellow leaves and gossamer
in autumns that there were,
with morning mist and silver sun
and wind upon my hair.

I sit beside the fire and think
of how the world will be
when winter comes without a spring
that I shall never see.

For still there are so many things
that I have never seen:
in every wood in every spring
there is a different green.

I sit beside the fire and think
of people long ago,
and people who will see a world
that I shall never know.

But all the while I sit and think
of times there were before,
I listen for returning feet
and voices at the door.

---JRR Tolkien(1892-1973)

This is my favourite poem of all times.
In this limited lifespan we have on Earth, many sights remained unseen, breaths untaken, thanks not said, forgiveness not given, love not spread.

If we had unlimited time on this world,what joys would there be if there were no sorrows from partings?

Eventually, there would be no difference between Mondays and Saturdays, New Year and Friday the 13th.

Who knows? We may all become lifeless zombies.

What begins must come to an end.
This is the magic of life.

I think we all know how it feels like to live in a city.
Stressful, hectic, crazy, lots os complicated relationships and politics everywhere...

It may seem paradoxic, that many of us who are lapping in luxuries, seek death as the easy way out of our never-ending pile of problems.
The people living in rural areas or outskirts, who are struggling with their basic needs daily, strive to live despite the harsh conditions.

Many times when we start complaining of the bills, living standards, work-related problems, relationship troubles...etc, the listener would normally give a model answer, " Come on man, at least you have three full meals a day, nice clothes, and even your own apartment to live in. Think about those poor people in Africa, starving every single moment since they were awake. At least you are more fortunate than them."

Firstly, I would like to clarify that I am not trying to defend us city-dwellers. I do sympathise with the less fortunate, especially those who were born into such conditions. Without proper access to education, it is almost impossible to break out of poverty.

Another important point to note, is that, none of us could choose where and when and in what kind of family we could be born into. It wasn't their fault that some were born in third-world countries. Nor ours that some of us came from better off countries. Things just happen.

What I want to point out, is that the different society we grew up in moulds our expectations, priorities, and purpose in life.

Just as the average working adult would probably not worry too much about his meals, the latest Pokemon card collection would be insignificant to the child of a farmer in rural areas.

To us, meritocracy in terms of capabilities,leadership skills,interpersonal relationships, academic results, training and our image is very important.
To someone who lives by hunting, the sharp eyesight needed to detect the slightest movement in the bush, the stamina to go after a running deer, the strength and endurance to kill a prey or fight off a predator is equally important.

True, it may be hard to understand why anyone could commit suicide over something like grades. I mean, it's not like when we fail, our test papers would have a life of its own and force us to marry it. This only goes to show how effective the society was in instilling the fear of failure in students, so much so that it requires more courage to face the consequence of failing than to end his life. To the student, his duty was to excel in his studies. By underperforming, he has let everyone around him, and himself down.

Are we city-dwellers, to be considered as weak cowards who turn to suicide at the slightest problem?
Does the problem lies with our "softer" personalities, or are we just the by-products of an era where competence in certain areas are more favored over the others?

Is an ex-convict who turned over a new leaf less courageous than a hunter?
Likewise, is a gypsy who dyes cloth with natural, hand-made dyes, less of an artist than Picasso?

Of course, I'm in no position to judge nor do I wish to do so.

All I know is that, I squeal at the sight of a harmless caterpillar, just as Pocahontas would probably squeak at the vibration of a handphone.

They made a promise to each other
That even after they broke up
They would still think of each other
At least when it rains.

They carried out their promise to each other faithfully
Both of them did

Yet even when the rains stopped
The rain in their hearts pours on.

Always thinking of each other
With someone new at their side

They were in love
But just not meant to be together.

Just like the others before them and those to come
They spent the rest of their lives
with someone they didn't love

Love can be nurtured
They made themselves believe.

Yet nothing can ever sprout
out of a seedless field.

Glass vs crystal

I've been flipping through this old tattered notebook. In it, bits and pieces of interesting facts I've learnt were jotted down.

I happened to chance upon this particular entry, which illustrated the differences between glass and crystal.

It says there, " When you look into glass, you see your own reflection. When you look into crystal, you can't really see you own reflection. Instead, you'll see rainbow colours shimmering off the surface of the crystal. In addition, the crystal is much harder than glass. A key could scratch glass, never a crystal."

The above paragraph caught my eyes. It really did.

Don't the glass and crystal remind you of someone amongst us?

The glass is similar to someone who lives for himself. Only himself can be seen, no one and nothing else. Such a life, is fragile.

On the other hand, the crystal is similar to someone who lives for others. He may appear an idiot to give his all for others. Yet, his is a life filled with love, hope, faith, trust, courage, kindness and generosity, just like a rainbow hanging in the sky.

You may ask, " What if no one ever recognizes him for his efforts?" The crystal would reply, " So what? I don't need anyone to thank me for what I did. Im just someone doing what I think I should do."

Such, is the real strength of a crystal.

The Loc8tor!!!

(http://loc8tor.com/)

I'm sure we all have experienced the frustration when we lose something in the house and we can never seem to find it no matter how hard we try.

Well, fear not, for now there is the "Loc8tor", which was awarded the Best Home Invention for the year 2006 by TIME.

How exactly does it work? All you have to do is, attach radio-frequency-emitting tags to your most beloved or easily lost possessions. When you want to search for these items, just switch on the "Loc8tor" and it will direct you to the items, with signals pointing to both left and right, up and down!!!

There are downsides though. Especially if you are as forgetful as I am.

1)I'll probably lose the Loc8tor itself. Then I would have to look for it the old-fashioned manner. Looking under the beds, squinting at the dark, unlit corners, turn the room upside down, etc.

2)Another problem, is when you are as forgetful as I am, you'll get to the point when you forget to attach the tags on your possessions. Yes, that's yours sincerely.

3) I can even lose a radio. And, I WILL lose the radio-frequency-emitting tags.

It's available for sale now, but I guess I'll never get one.

That's because,I hold dearly the nostalgia that wells up, when I come across something from my childhood while searching for something completely unrelated.
Like for example, I came across the picture diary book I kept in primary school while searching for my jc notes.
The pages may be yellowed and dog-earred, but the memories it brought back were so vivid I could distinctly hear the ringing of the school bells at the end of school.

Not forgetting the surprise we get when something we have been looking for days suddenly pops out when we least expected it, in the least expected place.

These are the simple pleasures in life, which makes all the difference.

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I have been a good kid this year. Results aside, I really tried my best at every task given to me.

So for this christmas, can you make my granny better? She's in hospital now and waiting for the end to come. I know she's old and her time may have come, and I was never really close to her in the first place.

But I know that if my granny recovers, my mummy will be happier this christmas. Can you make my mummy happy? Lia cannot be happy if mummy is sad.

P.S. I know I maybe asking for too much but if you make this wish come true, I'll never ever ask for anything for the next christmas and the one after that too.

Lots of love and hugs,
Lia Leow

Growing up

We became richer
More advanced
More informed
More knowledgeable
More sophisticated
Wielded more power than we could ever imagine

We also became the people we once despised

The ones we promised we would never grow up into

Looking back at our past, we may scorn at our naviete

Without realising that adulthood has slowly crept up onto us

And turned us all into its prisoners.

Long gone are the faith and innocence of yesterdays

Only to be replaced by the mistrust and corruption of todays.

Graphite and diamonds

Graphite and diamond are both made from carbon.
They are so different from each other, in appearance, strength and value.

Yet, the sole difference lies in their spatial arrangement.
They could be siblings, yet even twins can never take each other's place.

It's the same as love.
Some love are meant to be friendships, others end up in marriages.
Hearts may be broken when efforts and time put in gives rise to graphite,which may appear less valuable,
never forget that graphite marks can be erased easily.

But once love stabilises as diamond,
only diamonds itself can be used to severe the relationship so strong.

In the same way in which you once loved that someone,
only that love again can give you the power to forgive.

Let go and new diamonds and graphite will be yours again.
Hold on, and the diamond that doesn't belong to you anymore
can never take its rightful place in someone's else's heart.

Puzzles....

Something has been puzzling me for very long.

Why is it that even though I never had the experience of falling in love with anyone, much less breaking up,
but my heart aches whenever I listen to songs about lost love and so on?

Is it because I feel sorry for myself for not being able to have these bitter-sweet memories?
Or is it because I feel sorry for the lost love in the song?

And why is it that even though Im only 20 this year,
yet I share the anguish and helplessness which an abandoned old character in a movie feels?

Do feelings actually all stem from the same root? Starting from putting yourself in other shoes?

If it is so, wouldn't compassion actually be self-pity in disguise? We only feel for the others because we imagine the same unfortunate incident happening to us?

Im confused, I really am.

Quit judging

Once upon a time, there was a undergraduate who was going to turn 21 the following year. She was pretty ( OK look I'm trying to be as objective as possible and this is the word I churned out after hours of brainstorming) and petite( OK maybe more on the short side) and let's call her Ms Bow for the time being. The story goes that Mr Rain married her and the first fruit of their love was named Rainbow.(OK I'm digressing a little but what's gonna happen will happen you know)

Anyway, the story goes that there was something really unique about Ms Bow. Her voice frequency is on the same level as the ultrasound radar that bats use to get their bearings. In short, her voice was high-pitched and she always appeared to be whining even when she was saying " I do" at her wedding.( provided she ever gets taken off the shelves). Well, the combination of her voice and looks effectively make her look like she was still at the lower secondary level. It wasn't good enough that she could make into university. No, looks and aura still matter and many times she just wasn't taken too seriously enough.

Days went on, tension built up. It was the calm before the storm. The triggering effect, was a phone call which made her determined to blog this unfortunate incident ( yes sobs that's me I'm Bow sobs)

Back to the story, one fine day, the optometrist called to inform Bow's Bro( Ba gua)that his spectacle swere ready for collection. Bow rushed from her room to pick up the phone, because you always have to try harder when your legs are below some minimum length). Yet, her enthusiasm was like a marshmallow thrown mercilessly into the harsh fires. THe optometrist started coldly, " Hi, may I know whether Mr Ba Gua is home?" Still, Ms Bow didn't give up. " Oh, he's not home at the moment, anything I could do for you?" She enthused excitedly. " Oh, you're his little sister is it? We are from the opto...I mean spectacle shop, you know?" His tone took a 180-degrees turn. My sirens went off went I caught note of the words " little" and " spectacle shop". ( I mean, uncle can you go home and revise your grammar a bit? You're trying to influence some young girl, that you assumed I was, into thinking that two nouns can be stringed together without any aprostrophe mark or noun modification is that it? "

Ms Bow, being ever so magnanimous( I'm biased, I love myself), decided to play along with his little patronising manners and answered as sickeningly-sweet as possible, "Oh, Ok I'll tell Kor Kor when he's back." The other party had to push his limits and went on to ask," Oh, little girl you know what I'm saying? Must tell Kor Kor OK? Very important. You really understand right?"

You know what the moral of the story is?
Never to judge people by your own standards.
Spectacle guy judges me by my voice, I judge spectacle guy by his command of English
Where's the end to all this futile comparisons? This is similar to asking anyone what's the difference between a giraffe and a printer.
And in the end, nobody gains anything from all these comparisons.
Only the weak ends up getting weaker by consoling themselves that they are better and more superior to someone in certain aspect.

Me and the other me

Today I decided to take a walk with myself
Yes, WITH myself.
It's been ages since I last spend time with myself.

We had a long talk about where I was in life now, and where I was heading to.
The other me started sulking that I have been neglected her.
I pacified her, and we continued our conversation of everything under the stars.

And many of you may start wondering whether I am going insane.
You know what?
I personally think it's insane to think that talking to yourself is insane.
I mean why do we spend so much time on the phone, SMS-ing, emailing, chatting online, faxing, hanging out with everyone else except ourselves?

In fact,we ourselves are the most difficult to understand.

How many times have we wanted something deeply with all our heart, yet denied ourselves of that because of pride?
How many times have we told ourselves, we should perserve in doing something we dread and abhor, because it's the only way out? Or because it's our responsibility, when you can't even be bothered to listen to your other self hurting?
How many times, have we felt guilty, just for treating ourselves a little better? And end up feeling worse then ever?
How many times, have you let go of love easily, and held on to hatred like it was the last thing on the world?
Have you ever known, or even attempted to know, what you really want at each stage of your life?

Maybe it's time to treat ourselves to a heart-to-heart conversation with the other us.
All the dilemma, self-hatred, pain and doubts might still be there.
The door might still remain closed.
But if you never unlatched it, the door will never have a chance to open and let the light in.

Floundering

Sometimes
I wish
I will stop using words like, " wish"

Pining hopelessly for something
Waiting for the impossible
Desiring for something so far I doubt its existence
Craving for something that may never ever be mine.

The rest of the times
I'm glad I still dream
What would become of us without dreams?
Zombies, I would say.

Empty, unfeeling, desensitzed walking flesh and blood
which have no fear of failing
and no sense of satisfaction from our achievements

For those who dream,
we may flounder around in seas of uncertainty,
like isolated pieces of seaweeds,
trying to keep afloat and avoid the voracious appetites of fish,
whilst trying to wait for miracles to happen.

We may appear "silly" and "impractical" to many.
But if given the chance to live my life again,
I would still choose to flounder.
Wouldn't you?

Love yourself, and you will be loved.

This picture is taken from Edison Chen's blog at http://blog.honeyee.com/edison/
If you look closely, you can see that there are 2 bears kissing each other when the 2 cans are placed side by side.
Sweet, isn't it?

Yet, when you look at each can individually, the design doesn't seem to make any sense, does it?

I guess somethings are just like that. They are only meaningful in pairs. Maybe the attraction between two, the support they render each other, the trust they place in each other, even their many differences, can work wonders.

So what about the many others who brave though life's many trials alone? Are their lives lacking in magical lustre because of that?

Not necessarily so.

At the end of the day, it will only be a matter of choice.
There is no good or bad path, whichever you take.
Just simply choices.

Just as a friend once told me, those who are single, are so because they are strong within.

Whichever it is, the seeds of love are planted all around us.

Whether these seeds sprout and blossom into flowers,
depends on how much you water them with your goodness.
And these goodness are dew drops that can only collect on the petals of the flower in your heart.

Love yourself, and you will be loved.